Divergent by Veronica Roth (Through the Shelf Thursday #11)

Title: Divergent
Author: Veronica Roth
Genre: YA Dystopian/Science Fiction
Description from Goodreads:

In Beatrice Prior’s dystopian Chicago world, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue–Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is–she can’t have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.

During the highly competitive initiation that follows, Beatrice renames herself Tris and struggles alongside her fellow initiates to live out the choice they have made. Together they must undergo extreme physical tests of endurance and intense psychological simulations, some with devastating consequences. As initiation transforms them all, Tris must determine who her friends really are–and where, exactly, a romance with a sometimes fascinating, sometimes exasperating boy fits into the life she’s chosen. But Tris also has a secret, one she’s kept hidden from everyone because she’s been warned it can mean death. And as she discovers unrest and growing conflict that threaten to unravel her seemingly perfect society, she also learns that her secret might help her save those she loves . . . or it might destroy her.

Date I Finished Reading: March 16, 2013

My Rating: 4 of 5

My Review: (also on Goodreads, Amazon):

I finally read this book.  Everyone said I needed to; people in my critique group, everyone on Goodreads, and even my wife (who loved it).

What I enjoyed most…

The story certainly kept me turning the pages.  It was fast paced action and the plot kept moving forward.  I also enjoyed Tris (for the most part) and thought her actions and motivations were realistic.  I felt for her and wanted her to succeed.

I also enjoyed the writing style and it pulled me in.  I usually don’t enjoy 1st person – at least not 1st person in the last 10 years or so.  There is something about the constant inner focus that I have a hard time with.  It’s supposed to help me become more connected to the character, but usually it just pushes me away.  However, I enjoyed the flow and style that Roth employed…it did not turn me away.  She was able to focus on Tris, without being completely overwhelming.

What I thought was okay…

I thought the author did a good job with the love interest – Four – and the relationship built with Tris.  It was semi-believable for me and I thought it progressed naturally.  However, Four seemed a little too withdrawn at times.

Also with the book, especially after the reviews I had read/heard, I was expecting more substance.  It’s certainly more plot driven than character driven (at least for me).  I didn’t get connected to the characters as much as I would have liked to.

There is a twist with Tris’ mom that plays a very key role and it was okay, but I wanted more.  There wasn’t a lot of relationship building or emotional moments with Tris and her parents.

What I thoroughly disliked about the book…

I cannot say enough about the world building…which was almost non-existent.  I wanted to get so lost in this world, but I couldn’t, because it wasn’t there.  I don’t remember enjoying a book so much where I didn’t have a clue what anything looked like.

I also had a hard time with Eric, the main baddy in the book.  He is a great character and a pretty mean guy in the first half of the book, but by the second half he has calmed down slightly and is more reserved…almost like a different person.  The only problem is there was no explanation for the shift.

Do I agree with everyone who heaps praise saying ‘this is the best book/series since Hunger Games’?  Well, I don’t know, since I still haven’t read hunger games;-)  So while it was good, I don’t think I can put it into the ‘awesome’ category…not yet anyway.   In my heart I wanted to give the book a 3.5, but because it kept me involved and entertained, I bumped it up to a 4.

Have you read ‘Divergent’?  What did you think?

Sticky Situation

“Where did you get that candy bar?” Danielle asked her five year old son, Thomas.

Thomas looked up from his car seat, chocolate lining his lips, and slowly placed his hand with the wrapper behind his back.  He did not answer.

Danielle stood in the opening of the van door, the sun beating down and the groceries getting warm.  A drop of sweat ran down her cheek.  “I asked you where did you get that candy from?”

“It’s mine.  I found it,” Thomas said, wide eyed.  His grip on the candy tightened as it started to squish in his hands.

“You found it?  Right!  Come on,” Danielle said, picking him up and putting him on the pavement.  Thomas held on to the candy tight in between sobs and screams.

As the automatic doors opened, the realization set in for Thomas: he wouldn’t get to finish his candy bar.  With his mother dragging him to the customer service desk, he was able to cram the last bit of chocolaty goodness into his mouth.

Danielle found a manager sitting behind the counter.  Thomas’ hands and face were covered in chocolate.

“May I…help you,” the man said, reluctantly, noticing the messy boy.

Flipping the hair out of her face and still trying to hold on to Thomas, she said, “I am so sorry, but while I was shopping my son took a candy bar without paying for it.  I am really so sorry.”

The manager looked down at Thomas, covered in goo, and then back to Danielle.  “Well that is very honest of you.  I am sure the young man meant no harm.”

Danielle ignored the manager and prodded Thomas, “Thomas, you look at the manager and tell him you’re sorry.”

Thomas put his best frown on for the man behind the counter, though he didn’t feel bad for taking the candy. “I’m sorry,” he said meekly.

The manager smiled and beamed at Thomas,  “Thank you so much young man.  I imagine little ones take things all the time, but it’s not often anymore they come back to apologize.  You are a very good little man.”

Thomas’ demeanor changed at the praise.  It felt like he had done the right thing in taking the candy, at least that’s how the man made him feel.

“How much do I owe you?” Danielle asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” the man replied.  “I’ll take care of it.”

“That’s very kind of you, thank you,” Danielle said, grabbing Thomas again and heading for the restroom to clean him up.

Once inside, she lowered the diaper changing station and sat him on it.  “Don’ touch anything, you’re a mess.”
She got some paper towels and ran them under the water.  She turned back around and saw Thomas sitting happily on the changing station, taking a bite of another candy bar.

Mouth agape, she searched for words, but none came.  Thomas took another bite and smiled, saying with a mouth full of sweetness, “When I finish, can I go say sorry again?”

Danielle sighed and started cleaning up her little boy.

I Promise…I’m Not Dead!

I just realized it’s been well over 2 weeks since I posted anything…shame on me.  I have been very, very deep into revising and trying to get the manuscript for MAIDEN ready for submission.   Circumstances presented themselves recently to allow me extra time to focus on my manuscript, and I took it.

So for those who have emailed me, wondering if I am still alive, I apologize for the absence of any short short stories or writing posts as of late.  I’m not dead…yet.

But I have no fear, I will be back.  Thank you for your continued love and support!!!

From Point A to Point B (Maiden Update #5)

So where is this story I keep talking about?  Oh it’s there…no, really, I promise.  I’m just making it gooder and gooder as the days go on:-)

I finished my very first completed draft (what I call the plot draft) in April 2012.  I was at roughly 120,000 words.  I had completed from point A to point B.  I could give the story to somebody and have them read it and they would be able to connect the dots.   I wasn’t ready to give it to people yet, but if I did, they could at least understand what was going on.   It still sucked, but that was okay, it was the first step.

I finished the rough draft (what I call the first manuscript draft) in October 2012.  I had narrowed it down to roughly 115,000 words or so.  Much more coherent.  Worked on point-of-view, tying together loose ends, and making sure the story flowed.  This is the copy I gave to my wife, my best friend (who has a writing eye) and a wonderful writing friend (who is published) who took the time because she basically rocks.  I told them to unload on me and to hold nothing back.  They did.

I finished the next rough draft (what I call the beta-reader draft) in November 2012.  I was able to get it to right around 105,000 or so for the beta-readers.  I had three wonderful beta-readers who gave me information and feedback I could have never dreamed of, scenarios and character ideas that never crossed my mind.  Just the ideas themselves got me excited for the changes it would bring to the book.

And that’s my whole point.  As a writer, I started out at point A.  I had an idea, a story I wanted to tell.  Point B is that story.  It takes a lot of hard work, effort, time, change, experience, and humility to get to point B.  But in the end, it’s all about point B – making the story the best possible story it can be.

My goal was to be at “point B” with 90,000 words about the first of January.  Oh, well.  But I am not giving up.  Currently I am at about 95,000 words and I am moving forward.  It might take another week, two weeks, or another month, but the story is moving forward and it is getting better.  Soon, it will be done.

If you have a story you are currently working on, just keep moving forward, step by step, word by word (whether you are putting them in or taking them out) and it will happen.  It’s an exciting, frustrating, overwhelming, fulfilling process.

Son by Lois Lowry (Through the Shelf Thursday #10)

Title: Son (The Giver #4)
Author: Lois Lowry
Genre: YA Science Fiction/Fantasy
Description from Goodreads:

They called her Water Claire. When she washed up on their shore, no one knew that she came from a society where emotions and colors didn’t exist. That she had become a Vessel at age thirteen. That she had carried a Product at age fourteen. That it had been stolen from her body. Claire had a son. But what became of him she never knew. What was his name? Was he even alive?　 She was supposed to forget him, but that was impossible. Now Claire will stop at nothing to find her child, even if it means making an unimaginable sacrifice. 

Son thrusts readers once again into the chilling world of the Newbery Medal winning book, The Giver, as well as Gathering Blue and Messengerwhere a new hero emerges. In this thrilling series finale, the startling and long-awaited conclusion to Lois Lowry’s epic tale culminates in a final clash between good and evil.

Date I Finished Reading: February, 2013

My Rating: 3 of 5

My Review: (also on Goodreads, Amazon):

Lois Lowry changed how I appreciated books.

Whenever I read The Giver as a young man (I’m assuming I was in middle or early high school) it changed my life.  It is one of the three stories that truly stuck with me growing up (the other two being The Lottery and Of Mice and Men).

The setting was haunting and the characters were real, at least they were to me.  I understood what Jonas was going through and was immersed in his trial and wanted to see him overcome.

I wish I could say the same for Lowry’s fourth – and final – book in the Giver series, Son.  It was good and I am very glad I read it, but it left me wanting a different ending.  A very different ending.

The plot line is intriguing; being able to go back and learn about the girl – Claire – who had to give her babe Gabe up in the first book.  Seeing her point of view as the story unfolds.  I was pulled in right away and turning the pages.  I liked how Lowry developed Clair and her character.

I enjoyed the first 2/3 of the book.  We know what Clair is after and there is a nice twist in the second act of the book that curtails that longing for a bit.  Lowry does a great job changing the pace and the scenery and helping Claire to grow.  She is in a new surrounding with new people…the exact opposite of the gated life she has known.  The story drags in places, but it can be overlooked because the characters are endearing and the focus never veers off Claire.

Then we get to the last act of the book and…the story jumps the shark (so to speak).  The whole point of the book is that Claire is trying to find her ‘son’.  Well, through a series of events, she finds him, but there is no interaction.  Lowry builds some plot points to try and keep Claire from her son, but they don’t work, at least not for this reader.  The supposed conflict to keep them apart is contrived and when Claire and her son finally do meet…nothing.  Lowry has dragged me through this emotional attachment for no payoff, yet the final scene she still expects me to care about the characters?  I don’t think so.  I was very, very disappointed.

If you have read the other books in the Giver series, it’s worth the read, I promise.  But it will unfortunately (probably) not live up to your expectations.  And writing that makes me sad, but in the end I’m thankful for the journey.

Have you read ‘Son’?  What did you think?

Check the Box

Henry wiped his palms on his jeans a couple of times to clear the sweat.  He slid the paper from off his desk and held it in his lap while the teacher was still teaching.  It was secret.  Very secret.

The better part of a week had been spent ditching cartoon time, basketball with his friends, and even a trip to the ice cream store when he brought home good grades at the end of first semester.  Being in the third grade, it was his first time getting real grades – which were all good – but it didn’t matter.  Henry only had two things on his mind recently.

Valentines day.

Jennifer Markson.

The time had come.  Sure, he had brought the mandatory cards and treats for all the other students in class, but he had a special surprise for Jennifer.  In a matter of minutes it would be time for lunch.  He had it all planned.

“Okay everybody, put your books inside your desk and go to your cubby and get your lunch bags,” the teacher said.  There was a flurry of activity.  Henry tried to remain calm.

He walked slow, maneuvering to be the last to leave the class.  Holding his lunch sack, Henry watched as the class lined up for the door.

“If you are the last one out Henry, be sure to turn the light out and close the door,” the teacher said.

Perfect.

Pacing himself past Jennifer’s desk, he slipped the note inside; not too far in where she couldn’t see it.  Taking a deep breath, he turned off the light and closed the door.

Thirty minutes later from the back of the line in the hallway, he watched everyone hustle into class, still rambunctious from the lunchroom chatter.  He failed to spot Jennifer, who was towards the front of the line and had already gone back into the room.  As much as he wanted to watch her open it, he would be too embarrassed.  It was better if he lingered behind to give her time to find it.

Once inside, he made his way to his desk, head down.  Why was his heart pounding?

“Okay everyone,” the teacher started, “get your books back out and open back to the same page.”

Henry reached inside for his book.  When he pulled it out a piece of paper fell to the floor.  It looked just like his note to Jennifer.  Maybe he waited outside too long.  Maybe she already found his note, read it, replied, and stuck it back in his desk.

He wiped his palms on his jeans, again, slowly opened the note, started to read and then…stopped.  Confused, he looked down at the note again:

Henry,
 
Will u be my valentine?
 
Check the box…
 
YES ___    No___
 
Luv, Jennifer


It must have been a joke.  One of his friends must have seen him writing his note to Jennifer and was playing a prank.

He took a breath and slowly turned to look at Jennifer.  She was looking right at him, holding his note.   Henry couldn’t breath.

Finally, she smiled the smile he had grown to love and nodded her head, then giggled a little.  Henry felt like he would explode.  She then pointed to him, or at the note he was holding, and seemed to want a response.   She had left the note for him.

Henry looked away, back toward the front of the room, and gave a quick nod, blushing.

Surreal

I am fairly certain mirrors are supposed to reflect reality.  But mine must be broken.  It’s been broken for a while now.  Every morning I see the same thing – fiction, fantasy, pretend…whatever you want to call it.  I haven’t seen anything resembling reality since…

“Hurry up,” comes the loud voice through the speaker above me.

I close my eyes to try and find some peace – anything resembling peace – but it never comes.

I turn, looking over my shoulder, right into the camera on the wall.  It stares back, lifeless.

Cold.

One day, I will know the truth.

One day, I will fight back.

One day, it will all make sense…again.

“Thirty seconds,” the voice says, impatient.

I reach my hand – or what used to be my hand – to the side of the mirror.  My metal finger presses the button on the wall, which starts to blink.  I take a step closer onto the round, painted circle on the floor, closing my eyes.  I think my eyes are real.  They told me they are real.

A tiny beeping begins and I feel the pinchers (what I call them) coming in around me, wrapping and covering, pulling and twisting, all at lightning speed.  I forget where I am for a moment, trying to remember the time I was not inhuman, when I did not need some type of skin to feel human.

Beep-beep.

I open my eyes and see me, or what’s supposed to be me.  Maybe the only reason I give in and don’t fight – why I let them do this to me day in and day out – is because it does help me feel real.  I know it’s not, but looks can be deceiving.

My looks also only last for the day.  Long enough to let them study and probe, prod and evaluate.  Then I am brought back here, de-skinned, powered down and rested for the night.  Do I even need rest?

“Time to go,” the voice calls.

One last look in the mirror and I know it’s only a matter time before I grow impatient.  Only a matter of time before I decide to make my own reality.

Self Publishing vs. Traditional Publishing (Tips on Writing #10)

First off, lets describe what it means to be published.  Simply put – your book makes it into print.  Period.  That is the definition of publishing in its simplest form.  Somebody has taken the financial risk, the time, and the energy to believe in your work enough to at least pay an editor, cover designer, and printer to bring your book to the world.  That is the publisher.

If you did those things, then you are self-published.

If you had an agent, who found an editor at a traditional publishing house who did this for you (or you shimmied your way into a traditional publishing house on your own, sans agent) then you are traditionally published.
That’s it…easy breezy; but the discussion usually doesn’t end there.  The questions usually start flying after that:
“Which one is easier/faster/better/will make me more money?”
Unfortunately, those are all the wrong questions.  Some of the right types of questions should be:

– Do I want to handle ALL of the business aspects of my book on my own (i.e. marketing, shipping, account tracking, etc.) along with the time I spend writing? (if so, then you have the diligence and patience to try and self publish your work)

– Am I willing to take rejection letter after rejection letter and, more importantly, am I willing to listen to industry professionals, to make my work more marketable until I find somebody who is willing to take a risk on me? (if so, then you have the diligence and patience to try and get published traditionally)

– Is it important to me to really build a following of loyal readers or am I just writing books, so I can get them in print, so I can say that “I am a published author”? (if so, then self publishing is just fine)

And there are so many more questions to ask.  Ultimately, deep down, I think 98% of authors want to be traditionally published, but for a lot, self publishing is either perfectly acceptable or just a springboard until they get traditionally published.  Personally, I self-published my first book after a few rejection letters because I wanted the challenge.  I wanted to prove the book was marketable and then get picked up by an agent/publisher.  It didn’t work, but I enjoyed the experience…and learned a TON.  For my next novel – a YA adventure novel with a hint of romance called Maiden – I am most definitely trying to find an agent to help me get traditionally published.  But that’s just me.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how you publish unless you actually have something to publish.  Too often I hear “writers” talking about the pro’s and con’s of which publishing track to take, yet they have no product…no story…no finished manuscript ready to share.  Nobody in the traditional publishing world cares about you if you haven’t put your best effort on paper and even the vainest of self-publishing sites online can’t print your story for you if you don’t have a story to tell.

Finish your story…then there are a GAZILLION blogs, sites, articles, etc. (just like mine, some better 🙂 you can check out to figure out what to do with what you have written (sidenote: I found a great post by Anne Allen that goes into a lot more depth about each kind of publishing.  Check it out!) .  I can promise you, someone will want to read it.  Be patient and figure out the best path to take.

Review of ‘Bitterblue’ by Kristin Cashore (Through the Shelf Thursday #9)

Title: Bitterblue
Author: Kristin Cashore
Genre: YA Fantasy
Description from Goodreads:

Eight years after Graceling, Bitterblue is now queen of Monsea. But the influence of her father, a violent psychopath with mind-altering abilities, lives on. Her advisors, who have run things since Leck died, believe in a forward-thinking plan: Pardon all who committed terrible acts under Leck’s reign, and forget anything bad ever happened. But when Bitterblue begins sneaking outside the castle–disguised and alone–to walk the streets of her own city, she starts realizing that the kingdom has been under the thirty-five-year spell of a madman, and the only way to move forward is to revisit the past.

Two thieves, who only steal what has already been stolen, change her life forever. They hold a key to the truth of Leck’s reign. And one of them, with an extreme skill called a Grace that he hasn’t yet identified, holds a key to her heart.

Date I Finished Reading: January 4, 2013

My Rating: 3.5 of 5

My Review: (also on Goodreads, Amazon):

I really, really wanted to like this book, I truly did.  I LOVED Graceling.  It was the book that started my love affair with YA fiction not too long ago.  Then I read the sequel, Fire, and was not impressed.  But I loved the character Bitterblue enough in the first book, and respected Cashore’s writing, to at least finish the series.

In the last of the trilogy, we find Bitterblue, now on the cusp of womanhood, in full reign of her kingdom, but still trying to overcome the grasp that her father has held on the kingdom, and her, for so many years.  Is there conflict, yes.  Are there great characters, yes.  Do we feel for Bitterblue and her plight, yes.

But…(there’s always a but, huh)!

Cashore does a great job building up the past and how horrible King Leck was, but the conflict – now, in the present – never seems immediate enough.  I never felt like Bitterblue was in any real danger.  Because of this, I had to keep reminding myself that she was actually in her late teens, and not the same small child I had read about in the first book.  The conflict from her father in the past is strong enough to be real, but it just doesn’t work for me.  Cashore is never able to bring any real urgency.

Why?  One of the reasons is because the characters in the book (which are plenty) are stiffled inside the castle.  The majority of the book (the VAST majority of the book) takes place inside the castle.  There was a moment towards the beginning where Bitterblue wants to get out and explore the city, meeting new people, learning of secret plots, and it really helped the story move along.  The introduction of Saf as the love interest and mysterious rogue worked for me, but just when it was moving forward and I felt a little breathing room, everything moves right back into the castle.  So many characters crammed into the confines of the same space got crowded.  I think Cashore had a hard time as well trying to figure out what to do with them.  Saf, the one character I wanted to know more about, almost became a byword for the second half of the novel, with no real relationship built up between him and Bitterblue.  What gives!?!?

Maybe it was just too much.  The book did NOT need to be 500 pages long.  Cashore has a wonderful, witty dialogue with characters that came out in this book, that was enjoyable, but over time became unimportant because I lost track why I was reading.  At the end of the day it was a good book, worthy of the time.  I understand Bitterblue’s motives and what she is trying to accomplish.  There was resolution, I just don’t agree with the plot and storyline that Cashore chose to bring it about.

Have you read ‘Bitterblue’?  What did you think?